LIFESPAN: COMICS
07.30.04

I’m back from the nerd-prom, and I’m not going to tell you a thing about it (you can read of my partial exploits thanks to CBG’s own Chris Allen)… I did, however, pick up a bunch of stuff – listed below – and the desire to issue a challenge.

A review challenge.

Because, I think that should be CBG’s thing, and here I am, writing something being published at CBG (and Marc’s blog, The Waiting Room).

Alan threw down the bejeweled gauntlet with Eightball #23 and I have set my sites equally as high:

Marvel’s brand-new collection of Jack Kirby’s Captain America and the Falcon: Madbomb

I read it on the plane on the way back from SD, and had discussed it previously with folks like CA and Matt Maxwell, but since I’m not really a reviewer (this column is an exercise in process, impression and place) -- I’ll leave it to the best and the brightest of the web log-o-sphere.

So, get reading, we all know you’ve got one in that stack somewhere, I mean, it’s Kirby fer chrissakes. Send your reviews here to myself and we’ll post the best ones. It’ll be fun, I swear…We’ll even make it worth your while with some free stuff for the ones we like.

Oh, and I’ve decided to give away some stuff from this weeks iteration of the stack (the stack is completely OUT OF CONTROL, standing close to 2 feet tall on the bedside table), rather than add to the further clutter of my already cluttered basement. Details below, savvy readers (although, this week’s stack is so HUGE, I’ll give you a pointer; seek out Conversation and Ursula for give-away details).

Anyway, here's the stack as it stands today:

Carnet De Voyage (Thompson): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A thoroughly engaging travelogue/journal that is much, much more substantive than I believed it would be from the initial solicit/press. I’m halfway through it, and I Highly Recommend it!

Battle Royale #8 (Takami/Taguchi): I’m in for the long haul, but talk about decompressed storytelling…

Same Difference And Other Stories (Derek Kirk Kim): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! He won an Eisner, so I thought I’d check it out…

The Tomb (Weir/DeFilippis/Mitten): SAN DIEGO ACQUISITION! I know the inker (who was also the artist on Last Exit To Toll), he gave this to me…

The Kid Firechief (Steven Weissman): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Looks like fun, I’m sure I’ve read other work by Weissman, but his past credits don’t ring familiar…

The Horde (Baranko): The new deal with Humanoids and DC will keep me in head-y, European SCIFI from now until the very end of time…

The Technopriests 1 (Jodorowsky/Janietov/Beltran): So, I had the big albums of the first 2 collections, found out this past weekend there’s 7 of them so far, and this TPB collects the first 3. Ergo, this is the way to go if you can accept the smaller size of these new trade collections from DC.

The Lizard of Oz (Bode): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! An impulse buy. I have Wizards on my Netflix queue. Maybe that’ll show, I can score some weed and work the three of these things into a burned-out weekend!

Eightball #22 (Clowes): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! With all the talk of #23, I remembered I’d never read #22. I’m taking an indy trip back in time! Was there even a web log-o-sphere when this came out?

The Interman (Parker): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A perennial on the convention circuit that I’ve never purchased/read. Well, I have now…

End Times (Hiti): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! This was a must-find the first day of the con after I skipped out on MoCCA this year. Beautiful looking book, we’ll see how it holds up to the hype.

Sebastian O (Morrison/Yeowell): I read the originals when they were published, but I remember zip about the series, we’ll see how it re-reads.

White Death (Morrison/Adlard): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! I like historical fiction, and I like Adlard. Maybe this is my AiT sweet-spot.

The Filth (Morrison/Weston): Let’s see how it reads all in one sitting, shall we?

Wake the Dead (Niles/Chee): Didn’t read the singles, let’s see how the trade does.

The Last American (Grant/McMahon/Wagner): I may have read this in its original format, but I don’t remember (as you can see, I read far too many comics for anybody’s good).

Tim Sale: Black and White (Sale): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Tim’s dreamy, and his art’s not too shabby either! A nice looking book.

Back Issue #5 (various): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A nostalgia issue focusing on ‘70s superhero TV. Read bits on the plane, and its fluffy, but entertaining…

The Ballad of Halo Jones Books One, Two and Three (Moore/Gibson): Mo movement.

Stranger Than Fiction (Chuck Palahniuk): No movement.

Exterminator 17 (Bilal/Dionnet)/Gods in Chaos (Bilal): No movement.

The Incal 1, 2 (Moebius/Jodorwsky): No movement. Didn’t find #3 at the show, either.

Found (Rothbart): No movement.

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind 1,2,3,4, 5, 6 (Miyazaki): No movement.

Chronicles of Conan 2, 3,4 (Thomas/Windsor-Smith/Kane/Buscema): No movement.

Here's what's leaving the stack this week, and where it's going:

Captain America and the Falcon: Madbomb TPB (Kirby): Wonderful stuff in need of more insightful thought. Someone should issue a Review Challenge™ or something. This is heading to the shelf, or maybe I’ll leave it on a bus for a civilian to find and discover its beauty.

2020 Visions Hardcover (Delano/Quitely/Pleece/Romberger/Pugh): Read this on e the plane, and liked certain arcs more than others, but overall, a strong read. May have been better served in color. Not one for the shelf though…

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

The Comics Journal #261 (various): Sometimes I like the Journal more in theory, than in practice, and this was one of those issues. Speaking with Dirk this past weekend though, has me enthusiastic for future issues under his tenure. This is heading the stacks in the basement with my other Journals and mags that I’m holding onto for some strange reason.

The Collected Jack Kirby Collector Volume 2 (Morrow): Read a good chunk of it on the plane. The art and story behind “Science Fiction Land” is worth the price of admission alone. This is heading the stacks in the basement with my other Journals and mags that I’m holding onto for some strange reason.

The Moth #2,3 (Rude/Martin): Finally, off the list! Although, truth be told, I more skimmed than read…

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Gotham Central #’s20 and 21; Plastic Man #7;; Tom Strong #27; Swamp Thing #5; Challengers of the Unknown #2; DC Comics Presents: Batman and Mystery in Space; She-Hulk #5; District X #3; Justice League Elite #1; Losers #13; Hellblazer #197; The Authority: More Kev #2; Batman: Harley and Ivy #3; Doom Patrol #1; HERO #18; and Books of Magic: Life During Wartime #1. Nothing to break-out here, Gotham Central’s still a good read; She-Hulk has a fill in artist that is not nearly as good for the book as Bobillo was; Life During Wartime is mostly impenetrable, but interesting; and the rest are just filler.

These are all heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Here’s what popped on the list, then jumped right off due to being quickly read (I love stuff that fits this category):

Flight (various): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Beautiful book, with uneven stories. Worth a look, both for the production, art, and overall effort.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Conversation (Kolchaka/Thompson): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Incredibly slight and incredibly over-priced. This is a give-away this week, so…

EMAIL ME (JRYBANDT@YAHOO.COM) BETWEEN NOW AND MONDAY, AUGUST 9 AND I’LL PICK A WINNER AT RANDOM AND SEND THIS OUT… FREE! YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN THE CONTIGUOUS UNITED STATES, THOUGH!)

Kyle Baker: Cartoonist Volume 2 (Baker): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A quick, fun read. Heading to the shelf with the rest of my Baker stuff.

The Playboy Pad (various): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A photographic visit to swingin singles’ retreats across the… Hey how’d this get on here! Heading to the basement with the rest of the arty porn.

America at War: The Best f DC War Comics (various): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A best-of collection of DC War Comics from the ‘40s through the ‘70s that was on my list of things to look for, and I fond it, pretty cheap too. Heading to the shelf with my Fireside/Simon and Schuster Marvel Collections from the same time period.

Egg Story (Schmidt): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Recommended by Marc Mason. A cute little comic, but alas, after I give it to my wife to read…

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Slave Labor Stories (FCBD) (various): SAN DIEGO ACQUISITION! There is nothing from SLG that interests me other than Dorkin’s work… it may be an age thing.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Demo #8 (Wood/Cloonan): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Earlier issues, with Cloonan’s art presenting more experimental lines/styles were more interesting to me, visually. Story-wise, I’m always left a little under-whelmed, but some may argue that’s the point.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Grande Fanta: The art of Ashley Wood (Wood): I’m a big fan of Wood’s art and Popbot series. This collects the three previous “Art of” Books and is a nice, if not squat *why so small when the previous books this collect were so much larger) and expensive ($50!), collection. Heading to the shelf…

Family Reunion and Me and Edith Head (Stewart/Lieber and Ryan/Lieber): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! Two excellent mini-comics! I’m way late to the game with Edith Head, but glad I finally showed, it’s excellent. I’ll hold onto these…

Ursula (Moon/Ba): Not my thing, maybe it’s yours…

EMAIL ME (JRYBANDT@YAHOO.COM) BETWEEN NOW AND MONDAY, AUGUST 9 AND I’LL PICK A WINNER AT RANDOM AND SEND THIS OUT… FREE! YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN THE CONTIGUOUS UNITED STATES, THOUGH!)

Western Tales of Terror (various): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! A nice anthology of – surprisingly -- western horror tales. This industry needs more anthologies, dammit! They signed this for me, so I’ll be keeping it…

The Walking Dead #9 (Kirkman/Adlard): SAN DIEGO PURCHASE! This one sails along; this will get ditched when that second trade hits.

A1 Sketchbook (various): SAN DIEGO ACQUISTION! Atomeka is going to be doing some interesting stuff, and I need to dig out my original runs of A1 -- Ross and Dave are swell eggs. I’ll hold onto it…

DC: The New Frontier (COOKE): I have no idea where this is going, but it’s a beautiful ride. I’ll be keep the singles until it’s fully collected, and if it’s not fully collected, I won’t be buying partial collections.

Metal Hurlant #12 (various): One of my favorite reads, always filled with interesting stuff; this issue is no exception. Features the first real substantive work from Rob G and Rick Spears. I hold onto these…

The Uncanny Dave Cockrum… A Tribute (various): A pricey tribute at that. I know it’s for a good cause, but 30 bucks? What’s the split on that…

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Fantastic Four: Hereafter TPB (Waid/ Wieringo): I liked this arc and I generally like Waid’s FF. This is heading to the secondary TPB stacks in the basement.

Daredevil: King of Hell’s Kitchen TPB (Bendis/Maleev): this may be the last good, strong arc of Bendis’ DD. This’ll find a home on the shelf along with the rest of his run.

Ultimate Fantastic Four #9; Sleeper #2; Planetary #20; Fantastic Four #516; Powers #2; Marvel Kight: 4 #8; Astonishing X-Men #3; Amazing Spider-Man #510; X-Statix #25: Kabuki #1; Loki #2; Daredevil #62; and Man-Thing #1! I’m exhausted after all of the above, so nothing to break out here, except: Kabuki #1 is a pretty mess; I’m coming around on Astonishing X-Men; the shock at the end of Amazing may end up being interesting; Marvel Knight 4 is not so much a good read without McNiven’s art; Powers is Powers (the events of this past week sure put those Personals in a new light, don’t they); FF mercifully starts a new arc next issue; Planetary moves slowly (duh!); Sleeper’s great and Ultimate FF ain’t half-bad and currently my favorite Ultimate book.

These are all heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Here's what needs to go on the stack, but then the stack would be perilously tall:

Lone Wolf and Cub (Koike/Kojima): I too the first four volumes for the plane ride, didn’t crack a single one. And, I see the sequel/prequel Samurai Executioner is out this week… I’m doomed!

Joseph Rybandt has been working "professionally" in the comics "business" for close to 14 years. He lives in the mountains of Northern PA with his wife, daughter and companion Cosmo. His thoughts and opinions are, mercifully, his own.

SDCC: Day Four and The Return

Day four. The end.

This was, I think, the first year that I actually figured out how to enjoy the con for what it is. In the past, I was obsessed with getting things autographed. Beyond that, I worked as a drone for Khepri Comics. What I had never really done is just go, and go with the flow. This year, I was just me: Marc Mason, comics lover, and comics reviewer.

Sunday was actually sort of a weird parallel to Thursday, in that I spent a great deal of time walking through the small press areas and meeting folks who don’t exactly have an exalted space in the Diamond Previews catalogue. Some don’t really deserve that space; some will get it because they do. But to a fault, they are all looking for someone to take notice and look at their book. They are legion.

I also wandered around and spoke to a few creative types like hot Xeric Award winner Sam Hiti (“End Times”) and picked up their books as well.

Bumped into Joss Whedon again on the floor, shortly before we were both headed upstairs to his panel, which was heavily packed. He showed an early trailer for the Firefly movie “Serenity” and then brought out his nine cast members for a lively and amusing Q&A. Whedon once again showed that the real reason the un-powered Xander was such an integral part of the Buffy cast was that it allowed Joss to be a character on the show.

After that, it was downstairs to say goodbye to friends like Chris Ryall, Dirk Deppey and Steven Grant and I was out. While the con closed at 5pm, I vanished by 3:45. My bag was packed again, digging into my shoulder, and I was starving. So it was food and hotel to rest, ending my adventure.

Well, that’s not quite true.

22 trades/graphic novels
28 pamphlets
29 mini-comics
3 magazines
2 prose books
1 DVD

Plus: 10 manga samplers, assorted PR and other freebies, and a package of stuff from Fantagraphics that was waiting for me when I got back today. Not to mention the load of stuff that was still sitting here from before leaving. The real adventure is going to be reading and reviewing all that stuff over the next four months. Stay tuned here and at MoviePoopShoot to see how it turns out.

Mason

SDCC: Day Three

Day three is always the worst.

It has the largest crowds, the biggest media presentations, and by default, the most morons per square foot. Early on, I wished for death.

It happened because I pay no attention to the panel schedule for shit that doesn't interest me. That's how I found myself being (literally) swarmed by hundreds of Star Wars fans. That panel let out of Hall H while I was working my way from Hall G towards the other end of the con. And apparently they announced the name of the new film and announced a free t-shirt giveaway at the Lucasfilm pavilion, the 10,000 square foot monstrosity at that end of the con floor. I was stuck, unable to move as the line for those shirts formed around and seemingly through me. A nightmare of both numerical and body odor proportions. Fuck almighty.

I had gotten off to a late start thanks to Friday night's partying, so I missed friend and editor Chris Ryall's first IDW panel, but I did hit panels for longtime comics scribe Gerard Jones, who has a new history of comics prose book coming in October, and Marvel EIC Joe Quesada's "Cup O' Joe" panel, which, while amusing, announced nothing I didn't already know. Still, both of those panels smartly allowed me to sit and rest my legs and feet here and there, so I was happy about it.

During the day, I managed to have a couple of odd Hollywood moments, as Tom "The Punisher" Jane stopped by IDW (he's working on a book with Steve Niles) with barely anyone able to tell. Jane's back to blonde with a full beard and was completely unrecognizable. I also met Joss Whedon at the DC booth. Whedon was, at the time, traveling without a security detail. I asked him about that and he told me "security just makes people notice." I hope that continued to work. Somebody would likely hump his leg if they had the chance.

Caught up with and chatted up Greg Rucka, signing his forthcoming Queen And Country prose novel at the Del Ray booth, Laurenn "Rent Girl" McCubbin at post-Quesada panel, and bumped into friend Steven "Permanent Damage" quite frequently. All-in-all, the day turned out okay. I called it an early evening, grabbing dinner and heading for the room to get some rest. Off for the finale now...

Marc

SDCC: Day Two

Long day. Again.

Hit the small press area in the morning and met some folks who are working hard to make books. As always, the quality is variable, but they get credit for trying at least. Jetted away from there to hit the Sc-Fi network's panel on the new Battlestar Galactica, and that was a good one. Writer Ron Moore, along with actors James Callas, Aaron Douglas, Tricia Helfer, and Grace Park were along for the show, and it was an exercise in good fun and humor, as opposed to the fanboy attack at last year's con. Helfer is even sexier in person than she is while seducing Callas on the show, and Grace Park appears to have created her own legion of slobbering fans, even while stuck in a bulky flight suit on the program.

The rest of the day was a mixture of things. I went and talked to creators I know, having chats with guys like Jimmy Pamliotti, and I had my Hollywood moment, meeting and talking to Patton Oswalt, who's a really nice fellow. I hit Terry Moore's panel in later afternoon, covering it for Newsarama and finished the day by walking more than even remotely necessary and putting too much wear and tear on my poor self. Last night was spent eating and partying with good friends, and spending over a half hour in the cab line at the Hyatt, meaning I didn't see bed until almost 3am. So I'm shutting up now.

Marc

SDCC: Day One

Breaking News: it's still bloody huge.

I packed a lot into yesterday, and suffered quite a bit of pain for it. First, I met a lot of small press publishers. Now, many small press efforts are amateur hour at best, to be charitable. But I give them credit for at least trying. They are, to a fault, deeply enthusiastic about their comics, and are dying to get them in front of people. For my part, I came back to my room last night with a good dozen small press pamphlets, plus a trade or two. And that doesn't count the trades/graphic novels I got from them, not to mention the serious publishers who passed stuff on to me. After one and a bit of days, I'm already another month down in regards to my review schedule. Woof.

Got to see and talk to some friends/faves yesterday as well. Had the chance to talk to Steve Lieber for a while, and watch him draw an absolutely stunning commission of an archer firing on horseback. The commission was just for an "archer," and as usual, Steve went the extra mile. Awesome. I also hooked up friends Matt and Joe with Steve's recent minis. Matt, Joe and I also spent a short time with friend and fine scribe Tom Spurgeon. Tom has likely forgotten more about comics and their history than most people will ever know. He's also up for an Eisner tonight for his excellent book about Stan Lee. Good luck, Tom!

Also got the chance to chat up Brett Warnock of Top Shelf, the crew at Devil's Due Publishing, and the swell guys at Viper Comics. Old pal Brian Joines was sharing a table with guys like Dan Wickline and Tone Rodriguez, and he was in his usual amusing form. Joines is a guy who is just waiting to bust out, and his story in the recent NOBLE CAUSES: EXTENDED FAMILY #2 was really quite good.

Sat in on the Godzilla panel, and it was a lot of fun. Chris Gore was on the panel, and as usual, he really livened it up. Gore has personality to spare, and he's not a dick about it, which is nice. I was going to stay for Richard Kelly of DONNIE DARKO fame, but I decided to roll through the floor one last time and call it an early day. Hunger and soreness were killing me, and Friday night is always a long one here in SD. Dinner at the Old Spaghetti Company probably tasted better than it actually was, but that's what hunger will do for you...

More tomorrow...

Marc

SAN DIEGO: PREVIEW NIGHT

It could have been handled better.

Preview night is supposed to be three hours long. That means the fanboys are chomping to get in, sweating up a storm in line, and generally creating a ruckus. Particularly when the con organizers shave thirty minutes off the night for unknown reasons and don't start letting people in until 6pm.

D'oh!

So I made quick rounds of it. Hit the Khepri booth to say hello to friends. Rolled over to Fantagraphics to touch base with some pals. Hit IDW's booth to meet up with my MPS editor and friend Chris Ryall. Then I made a pass through some publisher booths to offer greetings to folks I know and haven't seen in a while like Tom Beland, Rob Osborne, Greg Rucka (whose wife Jen Van Meter and their adorable baby were with him), James Lucas Jones, and others. I also bumped into Matt Brady and picked up a panel assignment, so I'll be contributing to Newsarama for the first time.

Closed the night with drinks with friends Joe Rybandt and Matt Maxwell, and slept like a rock. I'm off to day one!

Marc

Cleverer people than me have written a shitload of things about EIGHTBALL #23.
 
Read their reviews. Debate their takes. But recognize that this is an incredible piece of comics literature, whether you approach it as a slap to the face of the modern superhero concept or as a stunning look at the pathology of a modern serial killer. It's great. Award-winning great. The lovely and talented folks at Fantagraphics have published it. Be brave and buy one.

FAMILY REUNION

Written by Sean Stewart and Drawn by Steve Lieber

Ask for one from Steve Lieber
 
Some comics automatically make me happy, just by existing. Many of those comics are drawn by the great Steve Lieber.
 
Now, don’t get me wrong: I don’t believe that Lieber puts out genius level work every time he puts pencil to paper. Like many artists, he has his quirks, and (in my opinion) Steve’s biggest quirk is one of the stranger ones in the business.
 
Mason’s Law Of Lieber: The more Lieber is paid, and the more high profile the gig, and the more characters the story contains who wear costumes, the lesser the work from Steve. Jobs where there are no costumes and superpowers = Lieber at his best.
 
I swear to you: I know this sounds goofy, but compare Lieber’s work on something like WHITEOUT to his work on BATMAN. It doesn’t even look like the same guy. The throw in the fact that someone else is usually inking his stuff, and there’s a colorist getting in the mix, and it just looks like Lieber-lite.
 
Now that we have that out of the way, I can point to this charming little exercise as more proof of my theory. In this lovely mini-comic, Lieber gives us eight wonderfully drawn pages of just people. People like you see every day on the street or at the grocery. Oh, and some dead people, but even they look normal.
 
Adapting and promoting Sean Stewart’s new novel PERFECT CIRCLE, “Family Reunion” introduces the reader to William “Dead” Kennedy, a fellow with the unfortunate and somewhat unpleasant ability to see the dead, and those dead have some unfinished business. Plus, he’s unemployed, having lost his job at Petco for eating cat food. He isn’t exactly a lucky man.
 
This is a pretty slight eight pages, but we’re given enough of Dead’s background to make him interesting, and those family members we meet, living and dead, show some literary promise. I suspect that the novel will be quite good. But the real star here is Lieber; I put my mind to it, and I honestly couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather see illustrate a tale of this type and length. His ability to animate real, breathing people on the page is a thing of wonder, and you never get the sense of him working from model in any way, shape or form. They’re unique, from their clothes to their features, and you always feel like you know them.
 
Steve Lieber, without a doubt, is the one man I would want to draw my comics. Sean Stewart has both my admiration… and my jealousy. “Family Reunion” is definitely worth your dollar.
 
review materials may be sent to: Marc Mason, P.O. Box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285

LIFESPAN: COMICS
07.16.04
 
Week Three... back into the swing after a wonderful long weekend with the family in the natural beauty of the Adirondacks. Dinner with the Doanes was a wonderful addition to the trip (I’ve met several online friends face-to-face and each has turned out to be exceptionally swell in real life. I’ve got a streak going!). Thanks again, Mr. Doane.
 
The stack is out of control this week, as you’ll see below. At this stage, reading becomes a real fucking chore, and with a trip to San Diego looming next week, I don’t anticipate working through the 2 and 1/2 feet of comics and books anytime soon. Also, there will be no Lifespan next week. Blame Comic-Con, not me…
 
Anyway, here's the stack as it stands today:
 
Captain America and the Falcon: Madbomb TPB (Kirby): Wasn’t gonna bother, but it’s become kind of a buzzbook around the ‘net and how can you really pass up manic, ‘70s Kirby? You can’t apparently.
 
2020 Visions Hardcover (Delano/Quitely/Pleece/Romberger/Pugh): I don’t recall reading the Vertigo iteration of this series, so it’s new to me! I like this format for the book, but we’ll see if it’s all worth the 30 bucks they’re asking.
 
The Comics Journal #261 (various): New Managing Editor Deppey is bringing more balance to the reviews, but I’d like to see some balance in the interviews as well.
 
Random Comics: -- I’ll break these out after reading -- Plastic Man #7; Gotham Central #’s20 and 21; Tom Strong #27; Swamp Thing #5; Challengers of the Unknown #2; DC Comics Presents: Batman and Mystery in Space; She-Hulk #5; District X #3; Justice League Elite #1; Losers #13; Hellblazer #197; The Authority: More Kev #2; Batman: Harley and Ivy #3; Doom Patrol #1; HERO #18; and Books of Magic: Life During Wartime #1.
 
The Ballad of Halo Jones Books One, Two and Three (Moore/Gibson): Mo movement, which surprises me, but as you see from what popped on and off (below), I put Eightball and Cole ahead of the existing stack. You would do the same, admit it.
 
The Collected Jack Kirby Collector Volume 2 (Morrow): No movement.
 
Stranger Than Fiction (Chuck Palahniuk): Kee-rist! This is becoming a lost cause, although there’s always the 6 hour plane ride next week to slog through it. I think I’ll give this away to a lucky reader when I finally finish rather than Half’ing it like I was going to. Exciting!
 
Exterminator 17 (Bilal/Dionnet)/Gods in Chaos (Bilal): No movement.
 
The Incal 1, 2 (Moebius/Jodorwsky): No movement – well, actually, I did read almost all of #1, but I want to finish it, start #2 and comment on them both (and I need to find #3 as well).
 
Found (Rothbart): No movement.
 
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind 1,2,3,4 (Miyazaki): No movement, and now both 5 and 6 are out! The first couple will probably travel with me for reading on the flight out West.
 
Chronicles of Conan 2, 3,4 (Thomas/Windsor-Smith/Kane/Buscema): No movement. Approaching lost cause status. Another contest? More Excitement!
 
The Moth #2,3 (Rude/Martin): No movement.
 
Here's what's leaving the stack this week, and where it's going:
 
Planetary Volume Three Hardcover (Ellis/Cassaday): A great read, re-remembered and re-visited thanks to this new collection, which will find a home on the shelf next to HC’s 1 and 2.
 
Loki #1 (Rodi/Ribic): Beautiful, but I don’t see that keeping my interest for however long this series may run.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Fused: Canned Heat (Niles/Lee/Rader/Templesmith): This really suffers from wildly inconsistent art (Out of the 3 artists over the 4 issues this trade collects, Templesmith is the most out-of-place with this material) and spotty writing. I like the high-concept though…
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Human Target #11 (Milligan/Chiang): I’m back on track as this was a great issue on all counts, with a wonderful retro vide to Chiang’s layout.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Here’s what popped on the list, then jumped right off due to being quickly read (I love stuff that fits this category):
 
Raisin Pie #3 (Bordeaux/Altergott): I love the Altergott stuff and am coming around to the Bordeaux material, but her story suffers from the infrequent publication of this series, as it’s an unfolding and continuing piece.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
The Classic Pin-Up Art of Jack Cole (Cole): A wonderful collection of beautifully illustrated pin-up work by Jack Cole. I’ll be seeking out those Playboy collections of his art. But, why isn’t this sized as a companion to the ward book FBI released last year, though? Why do I care?
 
This is headed to the bookshelf, to sit awkwardly next to the Ward book.
 
Eightball #23 (Clowes): I have never been a big Clowes fan, but this was a must-have and a must-read. It’s been analyzed to death by better pundits than I, but special thanks to Mr. Doane for opening my eyes as to one of the reasons for the over-sized format.
 
I don’t know where I’m putting this, but it’s a keeper.
 
Identity Crisis #2 (Metzer/Morales): Lots of talk about this one, huh, but I just find it mostly boring.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
The Pulse #4 (Bendis/Bagley): I liked Alias a lot more than I like this.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
The Punisher #9 (Ennis/Fernandez): Skimmed, enough with the IRA.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Spider-Man #4 (Millar/Dodson): Skimmed…
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Marvel Knights: 4 #7 (Sacasa/McNiven): Wonderful art; Unnecessary, but innocuous, title.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Ultimate X-Men #49 (Vaughan/Peterson): Skimmed; Peterson looks to be rushing the art and this version of Sinister/Apocalypse is as inane as the original – dumb characters all around.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Captain America #29 (Kirkman/Eaton): Kirkman’s back to basics debut; We’ll see.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Y: The Last Man #24 (Vaughan/Guerra): Part one of a shorter arc that reads like all the other longer arcs… Get somewhere, please?
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Catwoman #32 (Brubaker/Phillips/Gaudiano): A breather issue with a much-needed art fill-in… I’ve grown bored with this title, so we’ll see where the next arc heads.
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Wildcats #23 (Casey/Rouleau): They’ve lost me with this Coda bullshit; bring back the boardroom!
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Fables #27 (Willingham/Buckingham): I love everything about this comic. Looking forward to the start of a new arc next issue…
 
This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.
 
Here's what needs to go on the stack, but then the stack would be perilously tall:
 
Lone Wolf and Cub (Koike/Kojima): Still committed; still haven’t started. I’m going to take a bunch of these with me for the plane to get this ball rolling.
 
Palomar (Hernandez): Ditto. I’d love to take this with me as well, but it’s too damn big!
 
Joseph Rybandt has been working "professionally" in the comics "business" for close to 14 years. He lives in the mountains of Northern PA with his wife, daughter and companion Cosmo. His thoughts and opinions are, mercifully, his own. 
  
  
  
  
 

SIDEKICKS BOOK 3: ATTACK OF THE MOLE MASTER
Published by Little, Brown

A couple of months ago in this very blog, I reviewed books one and two of this charming series of young adult novels aimed at the superhero crowd. The first two outings showed a nice flair for sly humor and an unusually clever intelligence in the dialogue and deconstruction of the genre, all while being a very straight forward coming of age story for young hero in training Speedy. I am pleased to report that book three is more of the same, and even better than the first two.

Authors Dan Danko and Tom Mason have a gift for planting their tongues firmly in their cheeks and going for broke when it comes to mapping out these adventures. Speedy, a/k/a Guy Martin, is still hung up on Prudence Cane, the prettiest girl in school, and she still only has eyes for Speedy's fellow sidekick, the slightly sleazy Charisma Kid. But the Mole Master attacks and kidnaps Prudence to be his Queen of Dirt, so it looks like Guy might have the chance to save her and finally get to make some time with her.

Of course, things never quite work out that way.

Other obstacles for Speedy include his cowardly and asinine superhero mentor Pumpkin Pete (who has all the powers of a pumpkin) and his fellow sidekicks, who hate his superhero name ("why not Speedy Lad?") and the way he verifies that he is actually at a meeting ("yeah" versus "here").

These novels have a spirit and sense of fun that can be sorely lacking in YA literature these days, not to mention lacking in comic books. SIDEKICKS is scheduled to run for six books, and there is a subtle meta-plot running through the books so far, though it isn't anything that would be too distracting to a first time reader. I'm looking forward to reading the rest and passing them on to my step kids. Grade: A-

review materials may be sent to: Marc Mason, p.o. box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285

LIFESPAN: COMICS
07.08.04

Here's the stack as it stands today:

Planetary Volume Three Hardcover (Ellis/Cassaday): The oldest issue in here dates back to 2001, so a re-read is definitely in order. This will be housed on the shelf, when done, next to Hardcover Volumes 1 and 2, and not in the basement where that "Crossing Worlds" collection lies in punishment for not being as good as the regular series.

Loki #1 (Rodi/Ribic): This looks nice, and I've never read anything by Rodi (that I can remember), so #1 gets a shot.

Fused: Canned Heat (Niles/Lee/Rader/Templesmith): This has a foil cover... that's funny to me, how about you? Never read the series, we'll see.

The Ballad of Halo Jones Books One, Two and Three (Moore/Gibson): These are the Titan Editions from the '80s. These will probably get read this week.

The Collected Jack Kirby Collector Volume 2 (Morrow): I generally like the TwoMorrows stuff, although I have never read an issue of the Kirby Collector Magazine, so we'll see where this falls. It'll probably stay on the stack for several months unless I pick it up and find an immediate groove.

Stranger Than Fiction (Chuck Palahniuk): This is really a chore, which I'm surprised by, since I like his fiction so much. I’m toughing it out, but have already started skipping stories.

Exterminator 17 (Bilal/Dionnet)/Gods in Chaos (Bilal): No movement.

The Incal 1, 2 (Moebius/Jodorwsky): No movement.

Found (Rothbart): No movement (though this gets picked up and flipped through often).

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind 1,2,3,4 (Miyazaki): No movement, and five is out this week (need to pick it up), so I should probably get started on these, huh?

Chronicles of Conan 2, 3,4 (Thomas/Windsor-Smith/Kane/Buscema): No movement.

The Moth #2,3 (Rude/Martin): No movement. At this point, I'd probably need to re-read #1 and the Special, which doesn't fill me with joy, or make these any more appealing to move off the stack.

Human Target #11 (Milligan/Chiang): No movement.

Here's what's leaving the stack this week, and where it's going:

Hench (Beechen/Bello): If you don’t have anything nice to say (particularly with this publisher), don’t say it all, right?

Sure. One thing though: if you're going to insert artistic homage to recognizable artists like Steranko, Kirby, etc., at least try to work in their style.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

The Gray Area (Brunswick/Romita Jr.): After Paul Smith, JRJR is my favorite-X-Men artist, because he was THE guy when I was buying Uncanny from the Wheaton Pharmacy as an awkward youth. He's a solid, interesting, and fantastic comic book artist. This needs a new scripter though.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Vampirella: Crimson Chronicles 1 (Various): Love it. Wish it was a little cheaper ($14.95 would be better, but I understand why they went out at $20) and had more in it (it really gets rolling in the last quarter when Goodwin's stories appear). I'll be all over Volume 2. Now, someone needs to do the same for Creepy and Eerie (only there, I’d do Best Of’s and not chronological collections).

This is heading to the basement, but to the bookshelf I keep down there for overflow.

Sword of Dracula 1-4 (Henderson/Scott/Belk): Liked #’s 1 and 2 a lot, and then the artist changed with #3 and the story went south on me. It's a 6 issue thing, so if #’s 5 and 6 find their way to me, I'll finish it out, but so far, the "promise" of 1 and 2 are negated by the execution and decline of 3 and 4. I would check out other stuff from (writer) Henderson though.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

1963 #'s 1, 2, 4,5 (Moore/Various): Great (dark) fun, and like “real” silver or bronze age comics, the ads and editorial pages are worth the price alone. I wish the Essentials and Archives and all such reprints would reprint the original ads… never happen, but still.

Back down to the keep stacks in the basement.

Lucifer #51 (Carey/Gross): Part 1 of a four part arc; lovely art by Peter Gross; interesting story by Carey. I’m back on board.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Seaguy #2 (Morrison/Stewart): I liked this a lot more than #1, and was buoyed by that PopImage Morrison article where he talks about doing more Seaguy; still would have preferred the originally-planned OGN format (happy, Matt?).

Back to the basement until issue three comes out, then to the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

X-Statix #24 (Milligan/Allred): It’s like every other issue is entertaining, and this was that “other” issue; I liked it. Won’t miss it when it’s cancelled though, as I think it’s said all it has to say over the last, what, three or four years?

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Sleeper Season Two #1 (Brubaker/Phillips): Excellent stuff. Everyone should be reading this; Better reviewers than I have told you so.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Infiltration #22: Fun stuff, always an enjoyable read.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Here’s what popped on the list, then jumped right off due to being quickly read (I love stuff that fits this category:

Powers #1 (Bendis/Oeming): I was late to Powers (and Bendis in general) and disliked Who Killed Retro-girl immensely upon first read. I revisited the series with a chunk of the trades last year, and found myself really liking it.

This? This is too early in the new arc to tell, but it’ll probably end up, overall, an enjoyable read. The personals at the end though? They gotta go; I’m embarrassed for those people.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Ultimate Spider-Man #62 (Bendis/Bagley): I skim this every month, not my thing.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Supreme Power (Straczynki/Frank): If it were me? I’d go back to the original Squadron mini and have Gary Frank re-draw it (and add all the gratuitous nudity), but leave the Gruenwald plot and script completely in tact… because that series RAWKED! This series, not so much (it’s been 11 issues, has anything REALLY happened?)…

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Fantastic Four #515 (Waid/Kesel/Medina): When did Kesel become co-writer? And did Medina draw that last issue? These developments surprised me when I was flipping through (maybe I missed the last issue). Anyway, Waid writes a great FF, but this arc isn’t doing it for me.

This is heading to the basement, amid the stacks of stuff to get rid of, somehow... someday.

Here's what needs to go on the stack, but then the stack would be perilously tall:

Lone Wolf and Cub (Koike/Kojima): Still committed; still haven’t started.

Palomar (Hernandez): Ditto

Joseph Rybandt has been working "professionally" in the comics "business" for close to 14 years. He lives in the mountains of Northern PA with his wife, daughter and companion Cosmo. His thoughts and opinions are, mercifully, his own.

STREET ANGEL DOS

I have a theory.

I've been writing on pop culture for a long time now, even some academic papers, and it seems to me that all really standout pop has at least one thing in common: it has an extended arm and a raised middle finger pointed squarely at other boring or just flat bad pop culture.

It's a very, very good theory. Think about it. Think about films like DEEP BLUE SEA, for instance. Not only did it have an almost laughably dumb premise (super smart sharks), but it only had one "name" actor in the cast (Samuel L. Jackson). And at the very moment that Jackson's character is giving the standard "If we all stick together, we'll survive" speech, a shark breaks the water and swallows Jackson whole, leaving the viewer laughing his fool head off and applauding. Not only did the film flip the bird to a very bad cliche, but it also gave a winking nod to the concept of "jumping the shark." Other moments of "fuck you" raised along the way, and that made DEEP BLUE SEA an immensely entertaining B-movie.

I want pop culture to give me the finger. I want as much pop as possible to rise above its roots and strive to be something better. I want it to challenge me to pay attention, I want it to stir my brain, and I want the people who are making it to just give a shit.

STREET ANGEL #2 came in my mailbox, I brought it home, and it immediately flipped off the stack of comics I had sitting on my bookcase. It even used both fingers.

I reviewed issue one in my MoviePoopShoot column a couple of weeks before it came out. It was an exhilarating breath of fresh air, a piece of such perfect pop that I worried that the creators would not be able to sustain their momentum. Thankfully, I had nothing to worry about.

The brilliant creative team of Jim Rugg and Brian Maruca have let loose another blast of brilliance upon the comics scene. Incan pirates from the past and an Irish astronaut from the future are dragged through a time warp and land in Jesse Sanchez' Angel City. Their landing gets the local ninjas involved as well, and a melee ensues.

At every step, the plot of this book is so insane that you can't help but giggle and snicker with glee. Plus you get beautiful gags like the ninja house having an alarm designed specially to go off if pirates show up...

Like I said: a brilliant giving of the finger moment.

STREET ANGEL is so good that it's almost scary. Both issues have become instant classics, and it is my sincerest wish that Rugg and Maruca are able to keep up the quality of the book without jumping the shark.

Of course, reading that, they're probably flipping me off.

Marc Mason
P.O. Box 26732
Tempe, AZ 85285
Marc@MarcMason.com

LIFESPAN: COMICS
07.02.04

Here's the deal, each and every week, new comics enter my home (in a variety of forms, from a variety of sources) and make their way onto my reading pile (which is detailed below). Some stay on the pile longer than others, and the purpose here is to track them through to their ultimate end. It's an experiment and you're a part of it! Lucky you...

Here's the stack as it stands today (and bear with me as I figure out how this is going to work every week; also note I'm a "stream-of-consciousness/print-the-first-draft" kind of writer/guy):

Stranger Than Fiction (Chuck Palahniuk): I'm trying to work through my backlog of non-comics (just finished the new Sedaris - good, but I like his old stuff better, just like John Byrne ;) This will be put back into the marketplace when I finish it; not a keeper as of this writing.

Exterminator 17 (Bilal/Dionnet)/ Gods in Chaos (Bilal): These have been on the pile for quite a while, you have to be in the mood for European scifi, and I haven't been in that mood recently (these are the Catalan Editions).

The Incal 1, 2 (Moebius/Jodorwsky): These are the Epic Editions, and I've read through the Humanoids stuff and wanted to compare; haven't done so yet; see above regarding mood.

Found (Rothbart): A collection of the excellent Found Magazine. This will stay on the pile for quite a bit, as it's not something I would ever choose to read straight through. Great stuff, though.

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind 1,2,3,4 (Miyazaki): These are the new editions from Viz, and I'm working up to them; my kid loves his films.

Chronicles of Conan 2, 3,4 (Thomas/Windsor-Smith/Kane/Buscema): I don't like the re-coloring, that's for sure (same deal with the DC/Adams/Batman Hardcovers), and that's not keeping me from slogging through these, but incredible apathy sure is. Maybe I should just pick up a bunch of Howard's paperbacks?

Vampirella: Crimson Chronicles 1 (Various): Looking forward to this, actually, as it's all the old Warren Vampi stuff, and I like 60s/70s B&W Horror (last year, I picked up a ton of Eerie's and Creepy's and read them straight through; loved every minute of it)

Sword of Dracula 1-4 (Henderson/Scott/Belk): Just curious...

1963 #'s 1, 2, 4,5 (Moore/Various): Haven't read these in awhile, and picked them up (again, I know I have copies in a box in the basement somewhere); sucks that I don't have #3 in this stack, but I'm pretty sure I'll live.

The Moth #2,3 (Rude/Martin): I want to like this, or at least tolerate it, but reading the special and skimming #1 doesn't appear that's going to become reality.

X-Statix #24 (Milligan/Allred): I've been skimming these, I lost interest quite a ways back, and it's almost all done anyway.

Sleeper Season Two #1 (Brubaker/Phillips): Liked the previous "season" and see no reason why I won't like this.

Human Target #11 (Milligan/Chiang): This lost its way for me; I picked it up last night and thought "that's a whole lot of reading I'm not in the mood for."

Lucifer #51 (Carey/Gross): Ditto.

Seaguy #2 (Morrison/Stewart): We'll see at the end of #3, but it's not looking good (actually, it looks great, but overall, I'm not enthused by Mr. Morrison's mad ideas anymore).

Infiltration #22: A zine about being in places you're not supposed to be; I've lived this.

Here's what's leaving the stack this week, and where it's going:

Bannock, Beans and Black Rice: Just finished this; quick, good read, wonderful illustrations/design and heading to the bookshelf with my other Seth stuff (It's a Good Life... is one of my favorite comics ever).

FF Visionaries: John Byrne 1 and 2 (duh!): I received 2 recently, and took them both with me this week to re-read. I did a lot of skimming, and set them back on the self upon my return. Make of that what you will

Neal Adam's Batman Hardcover 2 (duh!!): This went straight to the shelf, and it's one of those things I'm not sure why I have as I'm not sure when I'll ever sit down with it (more on this in future installments); I hate the re-coloring; these could be on newsprint (with the ads!) and I'd be much happier and more likely to re-read).

Here's what needs to go on the stack, but then the stack would be perilously tall:

Lone Wolf and Cub (Koike/Kojima): I'm committed to reading the whole thing at some point this summer; haven't started yet)

Palomar (Hernandez): This will be a second reading of the material, but the size isn't conducive to travel, and as you see from the current stack, there's lots of other (admittedly lesser) material hogging my time.

Joseph Rybandt has been working "professionally" in the comics "business" for close to 14 years. He lives in the mountains of Northern PA with his wife, daughter and companion Cosmo. His thoughts and opinions are, mercifully, his own.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

As something of a Kyle Baker fanboy, it has always stuck in my craw a bit that I have not been able to turn up a copy of his unusual collaboration with rapper KRS-One, "Break The Chain." However, thanks to the generousity of the excellent Ed Cunard I finally have one. And boy, is it a treat.

Well, sort of. Truth be told, "Break The Chain" is far from Baker's greatest work, but its heart is in the right place. Based on KRS' music, the comic tells the story of a rapper named Big Joe Krash and his efforts to educate the young African-American kids in his neighborhood about who they really are. To Joe, an educated and caring man, the kids are almost disrespectful to their background. They've heard the names Malcolm X, Nat Turner, and Harriet Tubman and know that they were important, but the kids haven't taken the extra step to understand who they were.

Indeed, education is the primary theme of the book, as Krash (KRS One's alter-ego) strives to make the kids understand that it isn't enough to just scratch the surface and let the mind waste. Instead, he wants the kids to realize that only by learning about what it means to be Black in America will they ever be able to lift themselves up and carry themselves with pride. Krash preaches that there is a pride to being African-American, but that pride must be earned and respected.

"Break The Chain" gets more than just a little preachy, and at times, the discourse and dialogue slips awfully close to the "After School Special" level, but that's entirely forgiveable in this case. That's because Baker and KRS One are attempting to make one of the most important points possible that they can hope to get across to their audience. I don't know if this sold well when it came out, but I can guarantee you that each of those sales was a step in the right direction for a great many young people. This is one of the better "message" comic books 've ever read.

Marc@MarcMason.com

SOLICITATIONS I’D LIKE TO SEE:

AVATAR PRESS PROUDLY PRESENTS:

WARREN ELLIS’ STRANGE ASS-EELS #1
Written by Warren Ellis, Drawn by Jacen Burrows

Clench your cheeks tight!

Avatar is pleased to present the latest horror from British scribe Ellis’ frightening imagination. Mage/maniac William Gravel is back and facing the deadliest creatures he’s ever encountered. These foul, murdering shit sniffers are on the loose in Southend’s most decrepit pub, burrowing their way into the rectums of unsuspecting drunkards. It will take all of Gravel’s wits, skills, and tolerance for Red Bull, to survive!

Cover by Juan Jose Ryp. Alternate cover (pictured in Adult supplement) by John McCrea

HUGE COMICS NEWS

After DC Comics announced at the Bristol Con this weekend that Dave Gibbons had just signed an exclusive agreement with the company set to last two years, DC and Marvel made a stunning joint announcement: that would be the last exclusive agreement either company would offer a creator.

Paul Levitz explained, "We've take a long look at the concept of exclusivity and realized that no one really cares. For years, DC and Marvel have battled one another for the exclusive rights to the work of a creator, constantly seeking any and all PR advantages we can find in the marketplace. However, market research shows that only the lowest common denominator of fan truly cares which companies have exclusives with whom."

"Throw in the fact," Marvel EIC Joe Quesada added, "that thanks to scheduling and loopholes for small company work, no one but Brian Bendis is actually exclusive to anyone, and the idea just became pointless."

Fans and press were a-twitter at the end of one of the all-time stupid ideas, wondering where DC and Marvel would battle next. Persistent reports that Quesada was proposing a dick measuring contest between each company's staff were running rampant, bit no confirmation of "DC/MARVEL: THE RULES OF MEASUREMENT" was forthcoming.

Further details as the Waiting Room staff gathers them.

Marc@MarcMason.com

Just Like Opinions, Everyone Has One

Assholes. We’re all assholes. Me, you, the guy in front of you buying the latest issue of ROBIN. Even Larry Young is an asshole. And that’s exactly the point of his latest graphic novel.

PLANET OF THE CAPES

Written by Larry Young and Drawn by Brandon McKinney

Published by AiT/Planetlar

PLANET is young’s first, and a good bet, last foray into the world of superheroes. Sort of. Because, while on the surface, this is a story about superpowered folks, below that surface, that is a lie quickly exposed. PLANET OF THE CAPES is a graphic novel about the comics industry’s reliance on superheroes, the destructive power of that reliance, and why that reliance makes us all assholes.

Young noted before the book was published that the characters were really stand-ins for various parts of the industry, so with that in mind, here’s how I interpret the book. Your mileage may vary, of course, but I feel pretty good about my take.

The Grand (Marvel Comics) is a powerful, pompous, overbearing dick consumed with his own importance. Justice Hall (DC Comics) is the latest descendent of a long line of heroes. Too serious to a fault, he’s concerned with maintaining the status quo and making sure everyone looks good and does the right thing. Kastra (Indy/alt comics) is a cute little pixie of a heroine, powerful, but also the bearer of questionable judgment. She’s not above flirting or seducing in order to raise her profile. Her father, Schaff (a grotesque melding of fanboys and retailers, perhaps best named as “the direct market”) is a mindless hulking beast that leaves destruction in its wake while only wanting to have fun. Almost completely brain dead and running on instinct, he’s in his own way the most heroic of the team, but he’s continually guided in wrong directions by the others.

Beware, I’m going to somewhat spoil the plot as I go.

Anyway, thanks to a strange accident, the heroes find themselves transported to a different Earth, our Earth, a planet where there are no superheroes. (Amusingly, they’re immediately rescued by pastiches of Reed Richards, Sue Richards, Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm.) Faced with a real world that thinks they’re silly and non-existent, The Grand decides to cash in his moral chips and take over, allowing Schaff and Kastra to die in the process. Explaining to Justice Hall that they should set themselves up as rulers now that they are here and have eliminated the others, Justice Hall denies their right to take those actions and instead sets in motion each one’s plan to kill the other, which they do. As it says on the back of the book, “nobody learns anything, everybody dies.”

So you can see what Young’s point is right away. Look at Marvel these days, so desperate the make inroads to the mainstream popular culture, flooding the market with films, more books, you name it. They’re literally trying to use their superheroes to conquer the market. DC, a company known for trying to maintain a below the radar presence sets out to stop them, but in the end, they destroy each other, just like Marvel is destroying the independent comics makers and the direct market. It isn’t exactly subtle once you see where Larry is going.

The over-reliance of the comics industry upon superheroes, and Marvel in particular, is not just a slippery slope, it’s suicide. Too much power is residing in one spot, and in the hands of an extremely amoral corporation. And yet month in and month out, they have the highest number of top twenty selling books. Making us all assholes, which is the point. PLANET OF THE CAPES is a book that has a tough road ahead of it, because as a standard superhero tale, the basic fanboy isn’t going to get the joke. And the ones who do are going to be pissed that they’ve been had. (They should have been pissed about being had long before they bought this book.) So its audience might be a bit limited.

I’m not really sure Larry would mind, though. Grade: A-

review materials may be sent to: Marc Mason, P.O. Box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285

Marc@MarcMason.com

15lbs Of Stupid In A 5lb Bag

So. Micah Wright is a great big fraud. Gee, that's a shock.

Look, politically, I'm pretty well in direct alignment with Micah. I hate everything the current administration stands for. (That's assuming they stand for anything.) But Wright's story has stunk from the moment he started telling it, and as his career progressed further and further into blowhard-dom, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when it dropped on Micah, it managed to do so in front of the national media, obliterating his credibility on an enormous scale. Thanks Micah...that's all the liberal side needed. Didn't you have an intern who could blow you?

Let me backtrack a bit. I don't want it to sound like I'm not taking Wright's unbelievably stupid actions seriously. Far from it. In fact, like some who've made this connection, I might be bothered more than most.

Micah had claimed to be an Army Ranger, an elite soldier sent to the worst spots for the toughest combat. Now, the national consciousness has gotten a big dose of the Army Rangers recently thanks to the death of the most famous soldier in the United States Forces, Ranger Pat Tillman. Tillman, a man who turned his back on millions of dollars in salary in the NFL to join the Rangers and fight for a cause he believed was right and just. So to have Wright claiming affiliation with a soldier, a man, like Tillman... it's stomach turning. Disgusting. Because Micah isn't fit to shine Pat Tillman's silver star.

I'd like to believe that there is a part of Wright who has watched and read the coverage of Tillman's death over the last week and began feeling a deep sense of guilt and unworthiness that he was claiming to be a man of that quality. But inside, no matter what he says, I just tend to doubt it. Scoundrels rarely confess unless cornered and caught, and the media was onto him. So I'm sure he felt like it benefitted him to announce the truth himself before being pantsed on a national stage. It gave him the chance to spin.

Whatever.

You have to wonder what becomes of Wright at this point. It's wrong to wish someone ill in their career or root for their failure, and I won't do it. But I do believe that Wright becomes essentially unemployable in the comics industry, as well as other writing industries, for quite some time. It's going to take a long time for the bad taste left by his actions to leave the mouths of readers and publishers alike. How can you possibly promote any project he works on? How do you sell the work of a man who could perpetrate this lie to a wary public? I'm not sure Karl Rove could sell Micah to the reading public right now.

So, another setback for the liberal cause, and another potential resource to battle the Bush campaign falls by the wayside. A career lies in wreck and ruin. And still, real soldiers, resumes unfaked, continue to fight, to fall, in battles overseas. So maybe the real lesson remains that people like Micah Wright are exposed and fall by the wayside because they're unimportant, working with great difficulty to get those clumps on clay of their feet. And the truth won't always set you free. Instead, it may be the bullet with your name on it.

Marc@MarcMason.com

Cross-Dressing; a/k/a Death Gets A Makeover

As I promised a couple of weeks ago in my Phoenix Con wrap up, the time has come to take a look at Brian Pulido’s new LADY DEATH series. Subtitled “The Wild Hunt,” Pulido’s pasty protagonist seems to have been ambushed by Trinny and Susannah of BBC America’s “What Not To Wear,” and I found myself reading a comic that I wasn’t expecting.

My only exposure to the titular character was in her old days as the centerpiece of the Chaos Comics line. Seemingly existing solely for the purpose of allowing budding comics artists to practice drawing the smallest possible bikini top and thong on an over-endowed female form. It was a damned good thing she was Lady Death because she was certain to catch her death by cold if she wasn’t. It was that seeming over-reliance on gratuitous T&A that made Chaos either the most beloved publisher in the history of the goth movement or an absolute joke to mainstream comics fans. Your mileage definitely varied.

However, the new, Crossgen published Lady Death is actually quite well-clothed. Her outfit is tight and sexy, but it isn’t far off from what the X-Men (male and female) wear in the films. So it’s all good. In the clothing department, that is.

The inside of the front cover gives you a “thus far” rundown, which is good, because there was a previous Lady Death series from Crossgen before this one. It gives you an easy explanation of her current status and the staus of her uber-plot, and then we are thrown into the story. Half human and half magic user, we meet her human relatives and their moron of a daughter, and then follow her in her task to begin trying to remove the magic wielders from power in Europe. We see that she is a wild and charismatic figure, and obviously a powerful one. And her origin is way, way different than the Chaos version. Pulido has taken the character’s move to Crossgen as an opportunity to re-create her from scratch, leaving only her pale palette the only thing that really remains the same. This is not only a damned good idea, I wish more creators would do it.

Sometimes a good character is waiting around for someone to redefine and sharpen the character’s concept. Think about times when that has happened. Steven Grant and Mike Zeck honing the Punisher. Warren Ellis’ redefinition of Stormwatch. Frank Miller’s ground-breaking reconstruction of Daredevil. I’m not saying that Pulido has reached those heights here; far from it. But showing a lack of fear in giving something new a try deserves kudos.

The first issue of “The Wild Hunt” isn’t a bad one, but it isn’t exactly a good one either. Pulido throws the reader into the tale fairly abruptly, and while I always expect to have to figure a few things out, and that issue one won’t spell out the whole story for me, I did have more than just a bit of bafflement about exactly what Lady Death can do. I get that she’s part magic, and that she obviously has some magical powers, but the recap didn’t spell out what they were, and I was confused about how she used them, when she used then (and when she didn’t), and why she used them. At times, she just used a sword, and fought hand-to-hand. So I would have been a happier reader if the old Shooter credo “Every comic is someone’s first” would have been in effect. I may be a genius, but even I can use a guide here and there.

The real bright spot of “The Wild Hunt” is the wonderful artwork by Jim Cheung. Cheung’s art is dynamic, lending a cinematic feel to the action sequences, and giving her ladyship a more realistic look than she’s ever had. Cheung’s Lady Death is so far removed from the Chaos version that they wouldn’t recognize each other. After fine-tuning his art on a couple of the flagship Crossgen titles over the last couple of years, it is an easy statement to say that Brian Pulido has never had a better artist to interpret his scripts.

Outside of my qualms about not giving enough background about what the white wonder can and cannot do with her powers, the rest of the script isn’t bad. Lady Death’s human niece is about as stupid a character as I’ve seen in a comic in a while, but that’s on purpose. And while I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to pick up issue two, I wouldn’t dodge it either. LADY DEATH has come a long way from her more humble beginnings, and after all the hullabaloo with Chaos Comics’ folding and the selling of its assets, the old girl is the sole and deserving survivor. Who would have guessed?

Review copies may be sent to: Marc Mason, P.O. Box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285

Marc@MarcMason.com

My Take On ICON

Who fucking cares?

That is all.

Marc@MarcMason.com

Mini-Comic Madness!

Ahhh…minis. In many ways, they are the real soul of comics. Whether it’s an ashcan of a coming full-size book, or the output of someone who just really wants to make a comic, even if they have no money, there’s a real thrill in finding good minis and spreading the word. At the recent Phoenix Cactus Con I brought home three different books to take a look at.

• Bikini Automatic issues 1-3, written by Ken and Maggie Wright and drawn by Ken Wright. Available through his website Ken Wright Online.
  
  This was a surprisingly amusing little trifle. Wright was selling a number of prints along with his comics at the con, and they were all in sort of an animated T&A style. With a book with this title, I was assuming that very little effort would be put into making an interesting story to go along with the breasts. I assumed wrong. Now don’t get me wrong; the Wrights aren’t making Watchmen with tits. But the title character (her name is Bikini Automatic) has been hired to protect her beach by a very rich man who has given her a pair of techo-gloves that allow her to retrieve any weapon she wants from thin air in order to discharge that duty, so she actually does have a purpose beyond looking hot. She doesn’t take any shit from surf dudes trying to pick her up, either.
  
  There’s a nice dose of humor to these books, at least showing that there’s some knowing irony to the character’s name and her thong. Bikini Automatic isn’t brilliant, but it is fun. Grade: B



• Go Forth And Conquer/1000 Steps To World Domination 1-4, written and drawn by Rob Osborne. Published by Kaboom Comics.
  
  1000 Steps won the 2003 Isotope Award For Excellence In Mini-Comics. That award was not undeserved.
  
  Osborne’s quirky book features (basically) himself as he begins his quest to take over the world. Of course, that’s a pretty daunting task, and there are plenty of other people out there who have similar goals as well (including aliens, God, and the Devil), so he has his work cut out for him. Fortunately, he has 1000 pages to work with, and he’s only 78 pages in by the end of issue four. He might just have a chance.
  
  Steps has a strangely unique narrative that is difficult to describe. It’s almost as if Osborne has a case of ADHD and it floods over into his storytelling. One minute you’ll be with the lead character as he ruminates on the nature of world takeover. The next page might be a recitation of God’s divine plan for the universe, and then the next might be a full page panel of a beautiful woman describing why she hates comic books. And yet for some reason, this stream of consciousness approach really works. It should feel disjointed and pointless, like Osborne is just making shit up as he goes along, and it does; however, it’s so damned odd and entertaining that you just don’t care.
  
  Go Forth is subtitled “Wisdom and wit for the would be World Dominator” and features an eye-patched Abe Lincoln ushering around the reader as he explains to you the nature of villainy and evil, eventually dueling the alien Lord Zingo to the death in Lincoln’s own graveyard. And if you think that sounds absurd, you’re correct. It’s also pretty damned funny. This is Osborne’s most recent work, and it demonstrates a much stronger grasp of story and narrative than 1000 Steps has shown. It feels like this is the last middle step between the middle comic and shifting 1000 Steps over to full-size. Together, these are five really entertaining books. Grade: A-



• Blind Mice 8, written and drawn by Eric Mengel. Available through the author by writing ericmengel@msn.com.
  
  Blind Mice is the story of an alien missionary named Ocho who was sent to Earth to make it a better place but instead is stuck working as late night security in Tempe, Arizona in the club district on Mill Avenue.
  
  As a resident of Tempe myself, I can tell you that death would be preferable.
  
  Ocho spends the bulk of this issue breaking up a fight between to much smaller guys who are pissing and moaning over a girl. He then gets home to his apartment and discovers his friend Pitbull taking pictures for no apparent reason. Pretty normal stuff for a mini-comic. But then the story shifts to what I think is a dream/flashback, and it gets kind of confusing.
  
  When the shift occurs, the reader could really use a transitional caption, particularly if this is something that has been covered in previous issues. (Mengel has produced a trade paperback of the first seven issues, which I will review in my MoviePoopShoot column sometime in the next couple of weeks.) Every comic is someone’s first, and I needed help there.
  
  But the rest of the book is a pretty genial effort, surprisingly light in tone, and it isn’t bad. Mengel is on his eighth issue here, so there’s actually a hint of polish beginning to creep in to his work, and the book uses all the tricks in shading and light that Kinko’s printing will allow. Blind Mice doesn’t try and be anything more than what it is, which is smart; putting out a trade of the previous seven issues shows that Mengel has a solid plan and he’s sticking to it. Should be interesting to see how it plays out. Grade: B

Write me at: Marc@MarcMason.com. Review materials may be sent to: Marc Mason, P.O.Box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285

Phoenix Con Wrap Up

Sunday the 4th was the third annual Phoenix Cactus Comic-con, and the second one I have worked at and attended. Last year's was an interesting affair; being used to the largeness of San Diego, the quaint one-day, six hour Phoenix Con in a ballroom with four aisles was quite a change. This year's show remained the same size and length, albeit with fewer professional guests, so I wasn't expecting a great deal from the show.

For what will likely be the only time this year, I worked for my friend Brian Johnson, owner and overlord of Khepri Comics. So that meant I was in for a long day, even for a short con- setting up and tearing down a booth can take hours, and even for a six hour show, that doesn't change. That meant my Sunday morning started at five a.m...

I've never actually wished for the flu before.

Unfortunately, I remained healthy.

The show still had a couple of reasonably high profile guests: Steve Rude was on hand, as well as local guy gone Crossgen, Brian Pulido. Now, I don't have anything bad to say about either guy, but their appearances pointed out some of the real oddities of the Phoenix Con, some things that Brian put better into words than me.

Rude's work has been something I have enjoyed for around fifteen years. He remains as strong an illustrator now as he has ever been. But that also demonstrates the problem with bringing him to the show: Steve's primary audience is guys like me and Brian, people over the age of thirty. Today's newer reader has no clue who Rude is, even with his recent Marvel mini-series. He has THE MOTH starting from Dark Horse, but the younger reader drawn to the con by the X-Men or Spider-Man films has no clue about the book or why he should pay Rude $5 for the first issue. Throw in the fact that Rude arrived nearly two hours into the show and also did a one hour panel, and it might have been Steve's easiest con day ever.

On the flip side, Pulido was an oddity in his own way. His booth was next to ours, so I had the chance to observe him frequently throughout the day. He has a very strong following from his Chaos days, and he was smart in bringing previews for his Crossgen LADY DEATH series and his upcoming Avatar work. But oddly enough, he wasn't selling anything.

In all the cons I have ever been to, I can't ever recall seeing a pro guest with his own booth not selling anything. It's pretty standard, really. But Pulido was content to sign promo posters, chat with fans, and hold a drawing for a whole shitload of Lady Death merchandise. He also had another guy sitting with him who had no nametag or identification of any kind, which made a lot of people wonder just who the Hell he was.

There were plenty of wisecracks in bad taste in response.

I got away from the booth on a couple of occasions in order to go be "comic reviewer guy" and had some fun. Pulido was a decent guy, and he passed on issue one of LADY DEATH for review. It'll be here at this site soon. We also discussed our mutual admiration for Steven Grant who wrote a few projects for Chaos. I was impressed with how accessible Pulido was to his fans; I never really read any Chaos stuff, but it was very clear that he inspired an amazing level of fan loyalty, and that's hard to do. I tip my cap to him.

I walked the floor and started picking up mini-comics, all of which I will review here, and bumped into the amazing Rob Osborne, the Gilbert, Arizona writer and artist who won the first Isotope Award For Excellence In Mini-Comics. I had met Rob briefly at San Diego last year, so it was nice to get a longer chance to talk to him. AiT/PLanetlar will be collecting his minis into a full-fledged trade paperback this fall, so we discussed that, as well as his future plans beyond that. It also turned out, in eerie coincidence, that as I was showing my boss and her husband around the con, that she and he were schoolmates here in AZ. It's a small world. Rob's a really humble, nice guy, and I'm happy that he's beginning to see some success. It'll be interesting to see how far he gets in the industry.

Brian, who really does possess a wonderful brain for these types of things, brought up a good point after the show about how to make a small con like this one grown and expand, and it's pretty simple: you need at least one or two pro guests who have credits for drawing Spider-Man, Batman or X-Men. Something where the casual viewer of the cartoons and films has an "in" to wanting to see the con. Makes good sense, doesn't it?

So that was pretty much the gist of the show. We came, we saw, we worked, we left. Cactus Con has plenty of room for improvement, including Brian's suggestion above. But it does do a decent job for what it is, and I tip my cap to the crew who runs it. I know they have a desire to be a bigger and longer show, and it's possible that some day they will. But they have to perfect the smaller one first. I think it'll only be a matter of time.

I left there with a shitload of stuff to review. Check back later this week to see some of it!

Review materials may be sent to: Marc Mason, P.O. Box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285.

Marc@MarcMason.com

Let’s Get To Reviewing, Shall We?

Lots of stuff crashing through my mailboxes lately, so, let’s get cracking:

• 3 CAR PILEUP #1 and #2, written and drawn by various folks. Available from Matt Bors.
  
  This little anthology book is self-published in a sort of newsprint fashion, giving its creators a ray of hope in actually maybe making some money. Of course, that always depends on the contents in the long run, and surprisingly, there is some decent stuff here. Bors’ story in issue one, “Two’s Company” has decent promise until he decides to throw in an unnecessary trick ending, but his effort in issue two, “Just Another Coming Of Age Story” wouldn’t have felt out of place in NEGATIVE BURN or DIGITAL WEBBING. And Dan Custer’s “Bulimic Consumer” shows real signs of promise. Custer has a strong voice, and if he can develop his art, he’ll be heard from again. Unfortunately, those make a poor effort like Ed Waard and Brian Koschak’s “The Harvest” stand out even more in the most negative way possible. Still, they’re trying, and there isn’t a cape in sight. Grade: B-



• CINTARA #1, written by JAYMES and drawn by Steven Henry. Brought to you by the crew at Femme Fatale Studios.
  
  I have no idea what to make of this book.
  
  My first thought is that these guys are gonna lose their asses. This book is not going to get enough orders to make the color printing worth it. That is, of course, unless one of them is either sleeping with a printer or is a printer. Fellas, save the Photoshop effects and the color for the covers and go grayscale on the interiors. Or you won’t survive past issue one.
  
  Part of their trouble also stems from the contents. Officer Cindy Tara, who will (in a later issue, I presume) become the titular heroine who looks like a sort of deranged cyborg on the cover, is a pretty flat character. In introducing her, we see that she loves her kid, but then we see nothing else but a belligerent hard ass beyond that. There’s nothing wrong with making your lead character an asshole, but you have to make the character a well-rounded asshole. When Cindy is seriously wounded late in the issue, I found myself wishing that she’d just die, and that someone else would turn out to be the title character. The rest of the ensemble, what there is of it, is pretty much basic stock from central casting. Sexist partner. Perfect child. Sinister doctor. Sadly, I found myself hoping for a wise and calm Asian man, but it never happened. There’s always next issue, though.
  
  The art is really the high point, as it isn’t half bad. There’s an over-reliance on color and effect, and it’s another case of American semi-manga, but for that, it manages to be decent. And for a studio that calls itself “Femme Fatale” there’s a surprising lack of cheesecake; that’s excepting the cover, of course, where Cintara seems to be attempting to stab someone while in Second Position. The artist must also be a fan of Evan Dorkin (and who can blame him), because the serial killer Cindy is tracking bears an amusing resemblance to the way Dorkin draws the Murder Family.
  
  CINTARA just feels like too much of an early mess to work. The front cover says it’s number one of six issues. There’s plenty of room and need for improvement in the next five. Grade: C-



• SLEEPING BEAUTY, written and drawn by John Cei Douglas. Available only online at the creator’s website.
  
  Douglas’ story is a sweet and quiet tale of love and loss, aiming to hit the heartstrings a bit more subtly than most do. Probably because he’s British. Either way, this is a charming little book that injects some real life and emotion into its nameless couple. They each do well in recalling the small and powerful moments in their relationship, even as they deny a strong urge to rekindle it. Part of what makes the book work is that Douglas never really gives a full accounting of what went wrong in the pairing. Artistically, Douglas is somewhat weak, but his inconsistent anatomy lends a sort of emotional roughness to the story’s proceedings. When I first read this book, I really didn’t care for it. Upon further reviews, it made me want to buy a Polaroid camera. Grade: B+

That’s all for today. I’ll be back soon with reviews and more!

Review materials may be sent to: Marc Mason, P.O. Box 26732, Tempe, AZ, 85285. You may also write me at: Marc@MarcMason.com

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

Hi, everyone. Marc Mason here. There are some changes coming to this blog, and I want to get them out in the open as best I can.

In the beginning, I helped start this blog on behalf of eight to ten people who were going to post stuff here, including myself. Some, like me, have columns and blogs elsewhere but wanted a place to let off steam or do different things. The others had written for other sites before and weren't currently working somewhere else at the moment. But it never quite worked out that way.

Some of the writers got too busy and bailed quickly. Others took a different tack and did the Comics INactivist thing you've seen here. Let me state it out loud, because I have been asked multiple times: I am not, nor was I ever, the Comics INactivist. The only things here that were me bore my name. Period. In the end, there were actually two people who posted as the Comics INactivist. This is only important to know, because neither one will be posting here as the CI again.

The primary CI has decided to end his reign, and I support him. If he had wanted to continue to write them, I would have had no problem helping him create a CI blog and get the materials online. The second CI only posted once, and that turned into a fiasco that ate up days of time and energy in multiple forums. What made it worse is that it resulted in me, the originator of this place, losing access to this blog for a temporary amount of time. That, of course, pissed me off.

So The Waiting Room will be a little different from now on. There may be an occasional guest writer, but I'll be posting their stuff myself. But for the most part, this will be me, supplementing my Movie Poop Shoot column (for the love of God, click on the link on the left side of this page and read it- it's great!) with pamphlet reviews, essays, etc. It won't be as daily, say, as Alan David Doane's excellent blog, but it'll always be as good as possible, as often as possible.

Thanks for your patience. Thanks for reading. Now let's go and enjoy some comics, shall we?

Marc@MarcMason.com

The Comics INactivist proudly? presents:

In Defense of Martha Stewart. Or, why I hate scapegoating.

Border Patrol (Mar. 11, 2004)
or
Defending the Indefensible

Personally I think she’s a real bitch, and this comes from knowing her only through her TV shows and magazines, but Martha Stewart got a raw deal.

[and remember to always wash your hands after handling poultry]

In case you’ve just emerged from the bio-dome

[Comic World News is always ready with the latest topical reference, Mister Kot-ter]

or are in fact Pauly Shore (star of said Bio-Dome) then you’re aware that the ever-pompous and proper Martha has landed in a world of shit and faces up to 20 years in prison along with some hefty fines. Common opinion is that she will do time but not the full 20…

[more like 15 months]

that is if the convictions hold up when appealed, which, again, common opinion is unsure of. She was convicted, along with her stockbroker, of numerous security (stock) related fraud charges.

Frankly, that is all that needs to be said of the nature of the event to catch you up Mr. Shore.

[But let me keep on going with lots more words, despite having very little information myself]

At its most basic Mrs. (Ms.? What is it?)

[I’m a journalist]

Stewart took a tip from her broker and sold some stock based on the tip. Now the idiot broker gave her information that was NOT yet public information and from all indications Stewart knew this. HUGE “no-no” for all parties concerned. Acting on private information to save your own financial ass may seem like the best thing to do to secure your future but at the cost of the rest of the investors means the playing field is no longer level and anyone who lived through or has read about any of the “recent”

[quotes used why, exactly? Because they’re NOT recent? Why?]

stock scandals will know that this is frowned on.

[In fact, they’re not just frowned-on no-nos, but, gosh, securities fraud, or else there wouldn’t be things like trials.]

In fact, some feel that those that engage in this practice are the moral and financial equivalent of the guy who spilled all that Exxon oil and killed those cute seals and majestic seagulls (rats with wings if you ask me, but that’s just my once-shat-upon-by-one-of-them opinion).

[the “financial equivalent”?!]

Well here it is about a week after K-Mart’s spokesperson was nailed to the cross to prove a point

[that laws shouldn’t be broken, no matter who you are?]

and the truth is slowly leaking out to the general public.

Turns out that the jurors were out to prove a point.

[Turns out…how?’]

Wipe that smug self-congratulating smirk off her cookie-baking face. See how smart she is at decorating a jail cell with only gray and white to work with and horny cellmate ta’ boot.

[Let’s trot out all the clichés, because of course Martha Stewart won’t be able to have her own nice cell. No, she’ll be in Cell Block H with the bull dyke, yep.]

They said as much in after-verdict press conferences. Not the point of our judicial system you freaking retards!

[But was the law broken, Caleb?]

Let’s step back and take a broad look at what happened here.

Stewart was told that this stock she had a SMALL part of her portfolio in was about to tank due to some negative news that was about to go public. Then after being caught with her hand in the highly decorative cookie jar tried to double-talk her way around it so as to not effect the value of her own company publicly.

[AFFECT]

So, basically she was doing what any of us would do put in the identical position. Any of you who think that you would not are not being honest. Sure there are laws and rules but at the end of the day who has the most important roof on the block: you or your neighbor?

[Should I turn myself in now? Oh, yeah, I didn’t actually break the law like Martha Stewart. Almost forgot.]

They say that when the cabin pressure goes on an airplane you should 1st put your own mask on THEN help your neighbor because you’re of no use to anyone if you pass out.

This is what I think was going through Martha’s head. Cover her ass and then protect those that invested in her, MS Omniverse.

[By telling them not to sell their stock that was about to tank. Thanks, Martha! You’re all heart.]

It pisses me off when someone is singled out as a scapegoat and it is clear that Martha, while being the definition of ego and snottiness,

[For that matter, how does he even know what she’s like? That’s all rumor, anyway. She’s not snotty on her shows.]

is being held to a different standard then the rest of us would be.

[Like probably only doing about a year of a 20 year sentence.]

Hell, part of her conviction was on a charge of lying while defending herself on a charge that she was never charged with (for some reason I can’t get my eyes to stop blinking while wrapping my mind around that one).

[In fact, I’m still stuck on the concept of hey, you or I would break the law to save our asses, too, so why punish her? It’s just the law, freaking retards]

Almost daily we read here or on Newsarama or in Rich Johnston’s slime sheet

[at least he does the research, Mrs. or Ms. Gerard]

or whatever that so-and-so is effin’ up their corner of the comicbook market. Mark Alessi was the man carrying the target a few months ago.

[“Carrying the target”? Where was he carrying it? Do you mean he was WEARING it?]

Every few months Rob Liefeld gets the honor of being a-hole of the month on the company wall weather [sic] he deserves it or not.

[We just need to prove he has a company…and walls!]

Joe Quesada has suffered his share of arrows and is primed to get many more at any moment (thank goodness for his “Spidey-sense”).

[?]

Our recent interviewee, Dave Sim, avoids certain outlets ‘cause they’ve bent him over without even the courtesy of even pretending to drop the soap.

[Finally, a metaphor I can’t screw up—anal rape!]

And the list goes on…

But at the fore of the evildoers in the reputation destroying syndicate (soon to be a Slave Labor Graphics series)

[again, ?]

are the fans. With the ease of entrance to the message boards, once the haven of only the geekiest of geeks, any butthead with an opinion can now put it out there while somehow gaining the taint of legitimacy by association (he types with a small self-deprecating smile). “I once met a guy who was working with that guy on a series that Image was supposed to publish, but the guy I knew told me that the guy working with Image stole his Girl Scout cookies. I swear.”

[Good thing it’s so tough to get your own column!]

And you see the funniest times are when someone like Matt Brady or Jonah Weiland is singled out simply ‘cause they turn their focus one way or the other as if they have some hidden agenda. No wait, I’ll save that one for a later week ‘cause that one just cracks me the hell up.

[You wouldn’t want to overload this column with laughs—save some for later]

If you’ve noticed a small amount of cynicism

[more like senility]

creeping into this column over the last few weeks then go get yourself a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s ‘cause it’s more then a small amount.

[Cynicism and…ice cream? Whuh?]

I have not been around the block near as many times as many of those that I’ve come to know well, and often wonder why they continue to make the trek.

[To Ben & Jerry’s, right? C’mon, Caleb, I’m trying to keep up with you!]

What do you think the answer could possibly be? Why commit yourself to the expected backbiting, ass kicking and image bashing? Do you long for the days of the only outlet being the LOCs at the back of the latest issues? If you’re a pro and want to continue being one… WHY? And if you’re not and want to be one, WHY?

[Somehow, the last paragraph that tied together Martha Stewart and cranky fanboys must have been cut off]

I still continue to buy my comics every single freaking week, rain or shine (and damned if we haven’t been actually having weather here in Southern California), at The Comics Factory in Pasadena California.

This has been a message from The Comics INactivist.

SIDEKICKS
Written by Dan Danko and Tom Mason
Published by Little, Brown and Company

As a reviewer in any field, a creator has the ability to “buy” or “earn” credit from you. By that I mean that if someone produces a superior or affecting work, you, as a reviewer, are going to be more inclined to be interested in seeing what they do next even if it’s radically different than that last project. In film, it has always been the Coen Brothers for me. Even if THE HUDSUCKER PROXY sucked, they had enough credit with me that I was in line on the first day for THE BIG LEBOWSKI. In comics, there are a few people who have that credit with me, though some I haven’t heard anything from in a while. So it was much to my great surprise and happiness to receive an email missive from Tom Mason asking if I’d take a look at and review the first two (of eventually six) young adult novels he’d co-written with writing partner Dan Danko.

How could I say “no”?

Tom Mason, no relation, was the insane genius behind one of my all-time favorite comic books, DINOSAURS FOR HIRE. Published by Malibu/Eternity back in the late 80s and early 90s, DFH was a rip-snortingly funny, wildly subversive tale about walking, talking dinos who were obsessed with Elvis, shooting people, and destroying property. It was guns, sex, and loopiness all the way, and I still look back on the title with great fondness. Mason even signed my copy of issue two at the first San Diego Comic-Con I ever went to. He saw my nametag, looked amusingly horrified, and assured me that, if I was a relative, he had no money to loan me. Good times. His autograph even reads “Marc- I have no money. – Tom Mason.” So yeah, Tom has some credit built up with me. Full disclosure and such.

SIDEKICKS, and its first sequel SIDEKICKS: OPERATION SQUISH is the tale of Guy Martin. Guy, a/k/a Speedy is your normal teen boy, struggling with school, and too terrified to ask out Prudence Cane, the most beautiful girl in the school. He’s also the fastest runner in the world, able to make it up to 92.7 miles per hour (he improves to 102 in OPERATION SQUISH), and training to be a superhero by being a sidekick to Pumpkin Pete, who has all the powers of a pumpkin… whatever that means. He spends most of his time hanging out with his fellow sidekicks in the Super Sidekick Clubhouse where they all await the call for extra help from the League Of Big Justice. And what mighty sidekicks they are: Spelling Beatrice. Exact Change Kid. Earlobe Lad. Boom Boy. Boy In The Plastic Bubble Boy. Charisma Kid. Spice Girl. If you’re catching more than a faint whiff of tongue firmly implanted in cheek from that list, then you’re pretty much grasping exactly what Danko and Mason are putting forth in these books.

As Danko also did comic work, the writing duo has decidedly taken a look at the superhero genre and they work they did in it, taken the piss out of it (if you will) and found a marvelously subversive way to get it across to the 8-13 age group who would never pick up a comic book. Fortunately, they were also smart enough to make it amusing enough for adults to enjoy as well, and the books are filled with one sparkling moment after another. To wit:

There’s a moment in SQUISH wherein Guy is describing his relationship with the lazy and cowardly Pumpkin Pete (who naturally takes all the credit for Guy’s work and bravery):

”…Pete likes to call me his ‘human bulletproof vest’. ‘But I don’t have the power to stop bullets,’ I told him the first time he called me that. ‘You will if you’re standing in from of me,’ he replied.

Delicious.

The SIDEKICKS books work, I think, because even through the subversive attitude they take towards the superhero genre, Guy is a sweet, decent kid who really does have the desire to do good things for the world. He somehow manages to stand above the silliness that swirls around him (Spelling Beatrice’s power is just that: she can make eight letter words in Scrabble with just seven letters in her hand, for instance) and be heroic and normal at the same time. The rest (battling an evil puppet called Peenoh Keeoh- think about it; trying to rig a “win a date with a sidekick” contest so that Prudence will go out with him) is all gravy, really, stuff that allows Danko and Mason to get their clever on.

The books are each about 100 pages long (and come with trading cards of the characters), making them a pretty quick read, especially compared to Harry Potter, and they’re going to be entertaining from ages six on up. Danko and Mason have written for both RUGRATS and MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE, so that gives you an idea of their ability to create entertainment that crosses multiple age groups. They also take a moment in SQUISH to set up a meta-plot that will apparently be picked up on in the later four books of the series, so there is an effort to bring the read back for the future installments as well.

Of course, no one would be happier than me if Guy were to progress through the series and wind up as a full-fledged superhero at the end… as long as there was a strange and bewildering meeting with some very violent dinosaurs somewhere along the way. Keep hope alive, I always say! But the only way to find out is for me to keep reading, and so I shall. Tom’s credit is still good with me. Grade: A-

Marc@MarcMason.com